Monday, April 9, 2012

Missing A Heartbeat

Parting with a sorrowful smile, remembering the joyful memories, I looked into his eyes before my last goodbye. One last hug and one last smile, I turn my back to him and I know that I must harden my heart and look forward. I said goodbye to my friends whom I have known and I treasured from the bottom of my heart for so long. I board the last flight to thee US, leaving behind my friends and the person I love who already has another.

Ten years later and I am now twenty-eight. I have taken over my father’s company and made it into the number one company in all of the entertainment industries in the world. After a long meeting with the board of directors on the company’s profits and the measures to be taken to increase the earnings and status of the company, I sat on my chair and began to ponder about my old friends. The pain from it all is now just a throbbing pain and no longer the sharp pain that had once inflicted my heart during the parting. The constant emails I receive from my friends have piled up and recently there is one about a reunion.

“Now that I think about it, I haven’t had a single vacation since I’ve taken over my father’s company. It’s high time I took some days off.

I shivered at the thought of leaving everything at the care of others. My secretary, May, came into my office to pass me my tea.

“May, do you think I should take a few days off? I want to go visit some old friends back in New York. I haven’t seen them for ten years already and there’s going to be a reunion two weeks from now, on a Monday. Do you think I should go? I worry about the company…”

“… I know that you’re worried about the company but you should trust the people working here. Everything will be fine. You should go and have fun yourself. I’ll free up your schedule next week. How long do you want your holiday to be Ms. Ann?”

I looked around me and thought for a second and decided, “You’re right May. I have a lot to catch up on with them… A month. I think I will take a month off” May nodded and left the office. I opened my laptop and sent an email to Abigail to confirm that I would be attending the reunion. May opened the door and told me that the chauffer has arrived. I closed my laptop and placed it into my bag. As I was heading into the lift, May told me that she had already cleared up my time and that she had already informed everyone that I would be on a holiday for a month starting next week.

In my apartment, I stared into the pictures that I have kept safe in a box in my cupboard. Looking at it, I realized how much I have changed from when I was younger. I looked into the mirror and see only a ghost of my old self. I am no longer the playful teenager but am now a grown woman with a company depending on her.

Time passes and I am already in the airplane back to New York. I received an email from Abigail the day after my reply. She was overjoyed that I was coming back for the reunion and she promised to give me a tour and updates on what everyone is doing. Upon arrival at the New York Airport, Abigail and a few others were already awaiting my arrival. I noticed their shocked expressions as I was accompanied by two men wearing suits. It was fairly embarrassing; however, I was told that it was for my safety until I arrive at the airport.

“Erm… Hi. How have you been Amelia? Umm… Well… ”

Abigail was stuttering as she spoke as the two ‘bodyguards’ stared her down. I sighed and turned around and told the two of my bodyguards to leave. They objected at first but finally submitted to my request for them to leave. When they finally left I felt a heavy weight had finally been lifted off of my shoulders and I turned and smiled at my friends as I say to them, “I’m back…”

Abigail and the others with her smiled and hugged me tightly as they laughed from joy at my return. Isabella, Emma, Madison, Jacob and Ethan were there to greet me. We talked and I found out that Isabella and Jonathan is married and that Isabella works as an entertainment news caster and that Jonathan works as a photographer. Emma is married and is now working as a baker. Madison is an IT manager, Jacob a businessman, Ethan a freelance writer and Gabriel is in engineering. As we continued our talk, the talk about Caleb came up. He married Emily, two years after I left for the US. He is now working as a doctor while Emily is an accountant. After a while I realized that they were talking in past tense about Caleb and Emily. I was curious and asked them why they were talking about it in past tense.

“Well… I guess since you have been away for so long already, I guess you wouldn’t know about them filling a divorce.” Isabella looked at me in a weird way as she said it.

She looked at me in a weird way when she told me about it. I was curious but I left it for now as I was determined to ask her later and continued on chatting with them, once in a while glancing in her direction and giving her a grin that made her shiver in fright. I was after all known to be very sadistic in the past and would find things out if anything were to spark my interest. It was my downfall and would have caused many people to have disliked me but it seems to have entertained them instead. All they had to do was make sure they never become my target.

When I arrived at the hotel which I was going to stay, I invited them in to the hotel room. It was fun talking to them and reminiscing about the past. As they left slowly, only Abigail and Isabella were left. As I approached Isabella, ready with my questions, my cellphone rang. May had called me. I sighed as I answered the call.

“May. Is something wrong?”

“No. I was just worried whether you reached the hotel safely.”

“I know. Everything is fine. No one will… Hold on a second.” I moved to another part of the hotel room to ensure that Abigail and Isabella would not hear my conversation. They knew that my father is the boss of a company but they do not know what company and they also do not know that I have already taken over the company. I keep a low profile so that my private life would not be disturbed. I continued my conversation with May and later returned to the room where Abigail and Isabella were.

They looked at me as I entered the room and gave a questioning stare. I knew that they would bombard me with questions, and I was right. “Amelia… What are you hiding from us? ” Abigail stared right at me. “… No. it’s nothing. My parents are just overprotective. They just wanted to know whether I am safe, so the secretary called to check on me. That is all.” “Well, we better go now. We’ll bring you around the city tomorrow, so get some rest. You should be really tired.” I smiled and said, “Yeah. You’re right. Goodnight.”

After they had left the hotel room, I head to the showers to wash myself. Everyone has changed so much and they have their own lives now. They still meet up to catch up, have fun and relieve stress. I wonder what they would say if they knew that I was the president of my father’s company now. I laughed when I imagined their surprised faces. However, since so much time has already passed, I cannot be too sure that they would still react the way that I had imagined. As I sighed, I lay on my bed and tried to sleep.

The next few days were fun and the day of the reunion came. I was shown around a lot by everyone and saw how everything had changed during my time away from New York. My friends could not be with me every time so they decided that they would take turns to bring me around. The only ones who I did not get to meet up with were Gabriel, Caleb and Emily. I would be able to see them today as they are coming for the reunion. I was talking to Emma and her husband when Gabriel and Caleb arrived. I noticed that Caleb was a little tipsy. Gabriel apologized on Caleb’s behalf as he had brought Caleb to a bar as Caleb was rather depressed. When I saw Caleb, I felt a pain that went through my heart. The pain of wanting him had returned. Maybe…, I had never actually been able to forget about him.

Abigail went up to Caleb and shake him a good deal and said, “Stu~pid! What were you thinking about getting all depressed for? Buck up! Look whose here today. You’ve been so busy that you haven’t had the time to even stop by to say hello to Amelia yet.”

“Amelia? Where is she? Gosh. I can’t see straight.” Caleb tried to stand up straight and failed as he nearly fell backwards. “… Sigh… Hello Caleb. It’s been a while since I last saw all of you. Gabriel. Why DID you bring him out for a drink? You could have just brought him here and drink to his heart’s content instead and WE would have HAPPILY listen to all his problems.” I laughed.

Gabriel laughed and made an “I don’t know shrug”. As Caleb was being dragged to the couch to sit down, Emily arrived. She came in with a loud bang as she said, “HI, EVERYONE!!!” She was dressed far too formally for a reunion in my opinion. I noticed that Caleb had stiffened when he had heard Emily. Emily saw Caleb and laughed while saying, “How depressing Caleb. We are here for a reunion party not for you to submerge yourself in all that booze, as how you people say it.” The atmosphere was tense and I realized that it was best that someone does something to relieve the tense atmosphere.

I walked up to her and gave her my business smile. “Hello Emily. It has been a long time since I last saw you. You are dressed really nicely today.” “Oh. Is that you, Amelia? I could hardly recognize you with what you’re wearing. I would have thought that you would have dressed up much nicely since you have so much cash to spend with. Hmm… I guess you must not be getting much out of your parent’s money.” she laughed. I have gone through much worse comments than that and I was thankful for it.

If it had been before, I would have shown her living hell and would have used violence to relieve my anger. Just as I was about to reply back to her, I saw May barging into the shop. I was stunned as to why she was here.

“May? What are you doing here?” “As soon as I heard her disgusting remark about you, I couldn’t take it so I came in to beat some sense into her. She is just a mere accountant. How DARE she speak that way to you!” May was basically raging with anger. “It’s fine. I’m all right May. … Wait a minute. How did you come to hear the conversation? You came from outside the shop. You definitely would not have been able to hear it, and what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in the company? Is something wrong?” I was worried now as I had left the task of taking care of the company to May. “Urgh… I was worried so I placed a tracking and listening device on you. I knew that you would not want to have any of the bodyguards with you so I had to resort to doing this. I was still uneasy so I decided to come here instead to ensure your safety. After all, you are very important to the company!”

Silence was what I heard. No one spoke a word. When finally, “Amelia… This isn’t just about your parents being overprotective now is it? How are you important to the company? That can only happen if you have a huge influence or role in a company, right?” Abigail asked the question and I could feel everyone’s stares piercing me. “Shoot. Guess the cats out of the bag huh? Fine. You remember that my dad was the president of an entertainment company right? The name was TZ. Well, five years before this year, the company’s name was changed to FLIGHT. It was also that year that the president of the company was changed. Now, what do you know about the current president of FLIGHT?”

I could see that Isabella was beginning to understand something. It was almost as though I could hear a bell go ding as she finally understood what I was trying to say. “N…No WAY!!! Do you mean to say that you are the president of that company? FLIGHT?! I knew that the president was a female and that the name of the company had changed but to think it was your father’s company?” I laughed and said, “One and the same. How did you think my speech and behavior could change so drastically? After a lot of gruesome training to control myself, I am now as you can see. Although, my horrid side does show up once in a while.”

“So now you know. The mysterious president of FLIGHT is non-other than me.” They were all very excited and we talked for a long time. Emily left silently while Caleb sat on the chair. After a while, I got tired and sat next to Caleb. “Now that was tiring, yet fun. How have you been Caleb? I heard you’re a doctor now. You are not setting a very good example as to how a doctor should be. You should take better care of your body, you know.” He looked at me and I could feel my face heating up. He was still as handsome as before.

We were childhood friends last time and I had fun playing with his hair. “It’s been quite a while since we last spoke. Sorry that I’m drunk. I guess you must have heard from the others that I’m divorced.” He looked at me with downcast eyes. I felt pain and wanted to hug him but I knew better than to do that. “What happened? The two of you have been married for so long. Eight years is really long.” “Yeah, well. It’s a long story. So I’ll give you the main reason. I want kids, she doesn’t. Saying something like it’ll ruin her and it’ll be a burden.” “Oh… That is rather harsh.” “A president of FLIGHT company now huh…” “Yeah. It was hard to bring the company up. I managed it. Somehow.” “… How long are you going to stay in New York?” “I don’t know. Maybe a week more I guess. I took a whole month off from being president you know. My secretary was happy as I have only been working.” “And you told me that I had to take care of myself. What about you? Working every day.” “Hey now. I exercise every day you know.” “Haha… Hey. I think I should take a few days off. What do you think? Could you like hang out with me during that time? I really missed talking about things with you.” “You should and sure. Come talk to me anytime.” He laughed and said, “You weren’t kidding about your speech. It’s WAY formal.”

I blushed. “Whatever. Anyways. You should go back home and sleep. You look dead tired.” “Yeah. Sure. Bye. See you soon.” “Bye.” He got up and left. Slowly I got up from my seat and went back to the others. I told them that I was tired and wanted to head back to the hotel. I asked them whether they wanted to drop by too. In the end, only Abigail, Emma, Jacob and Ethan came along as their schedule was more loosely compared to the others. They played with the games I asked the hotel to send up and drank. I told them to stay overnight as it was already really late.

“Sorry. You did say that you were tired and yet we came and play, drink and stay overnight.” Abigail looked at me as I was staring out the balcony. “No. I just wanted to leave that place as there was too much smoke for me and it was quite cramp.” “Or. It could be because of Caleb and Emily. I know that you must be pissed with Emily after what she said to you. I also saw you talking to Caleb. I saw your face. You still like him don’t you?” “…” I stared at her for a while before I laughed silently. “I could never hide anything from you can I now Abigail? Yeah. I still like him. I thought that the feeling had already disappeared. But, it didn’t. It’s still there. Just looking at him had made my heart feel like as though it would jump out from my body. I know that it sounds lame, but I don’t know any other way to express my feelings.”

“Then, why don’t you just tell him that you love him?” Both Abigail and I were shocked when we heard that voice come from behind us. We turned around and Ethan was there looking at me. “You’ve kept that secret long enough already Amelia. If you really love him than tell him. Are you really planning to never tell him about it?” “Ethan… It… It’s already too late. Don’t you think so? Besides, he has already rejected me long ago. I’m merely just a ‘Childhood Friend’ to him.” The words Caleb had said to me long ago came back to me like a flash. I remember what his reply was when I told him I liked him.

Abigail and Ethan went silent as they had realized that Caleb had rejected me. “So… So that’s why… You confessed to him before? I… We never heard anything about it.” Abigail said, stuttering. “All of you didn’t need to know about it. Anyways… Let’s all just go to sleep. I am tired and I need to rest.” I smiled at them as I left. After that, the topic was never brought up again. I hung out with Caleb every day. We went to amusement parks, museums, the zoo, had dinner and lots more. Before I knew it, two weeks had passed and I had another one more week for my holiday.

We were having lunch and talking a lot. I had a lot of fun. As we were talking, my cellphone rang. I excused myself and left the table to pick up the call. It was May, again. “Yes?” “Ms. Ann, your parents wants you to return back to the US.” “What? Why?” “They said that since you are on a holiday, they thought it would be a perfect time to meet up with someone they want you to marry.” “You have got to be joking. Didn’t I make it clear to them that I have no intention in getting married yet and that I would definitely not marry a person whom I have never met before?” “I understand Ms. Ann. However, they do not want to listen to my explanations. It would be better if you were to tell them directly yourself, Ms. Ann.” “Sigh… Understood. Prepare me a flight back to the US tomorrow. I still need to pack up and bid my friends goodbye first.” “Understood Ms. Ann.”

As I hung up, I turned around only to find Caleb behind me. “You are going back to the US tomorrow? Why so suddenly?” I realized that he did not hear most of my conversation and had only heard about me returning back. “No… It’s nothing. Just some family issues. It’s nothing for you to worry about.” “… Well then, since you’re going back tomorrow, allow me to pay for today’s lunch and dinner.” No matter how much I protested to it, he was too stubborn and wouldn’t listen to me. So I gave up. I went and visited my friends to tell them that I would be going tomorrow. They were all shocked and asked me why and told me to stay. Abigail was the hardest to shake off. So I had no choice but to tell her the reason why. “WHAT?!!! Are you serious?! What’s wrong with your parents?! Do they have mental problem or something?” “Shhh… You are too loud Abigail. Remember. You are not to let anyone know about this. Understand?” “Buu… Fine. But, I do not agree to this. Remember you got to get them to understand that you are NOT getting married to some GUY.” “Yes. Yes. Now, I have to go already Abigail. Caleb is waiting outside. He promised me dinner.” “… Ok. So I guess this is farewell, huh? ” “Not farewell. Just goodbye. I promise that I will come again.” “Ok. Bye Amelia.” “Bye.”

The dinner was fun as we headed off to karaoke when we were done. As we were walking back to the hotel, we were surrounded by five guys. They were breathing heavily and were laughing to themselves. They stank of dirt and sweat and I had a huge urge to puke. “Hey there buddy. Why doncha give us some cash and leave the girl with us? We’ll treat her nicely. REAL nice.” Now I really wanted to puke. I haven’t fought for a long time and I wondered whether I would be able to beat some of them up. I noticed that Caleb looked a little angry and he said, “Leave us alone or I’ll call the police.” I realized that I should not be thinking thoughts of beating someone up but should focus on calling for help or escaping. So I pulled out my cellphone and was about to call for help when one of the guys grabbed my arm and snatched the phone out of my hand. “Hehehe… What do you think you’re doin girl? That ain a good idea to do you know. Be a good girl and we’ll play with you nicely.”

That was when I really got angry. I was annoyed and disgusted at having that guy call me girly and touching me with his dirty hands. I flung the guy who was grabbing me onto the ground and smoothly dislocated his arm. The guy screamed in agony from the pain. The other four guys went pale from the horror of their friend screaming. As I stood up, the anger within me was basically vibrating out from my body. The four of them was about to run away when the guy on the ground told them to beat me up. It would seem that he was the big boss of that group and so they ran forward. Caleb tripped one of them and punched another. As we were busy with them, the guy which had the dislocated arm had got up and hit me with a metal pipe on my back. I was slowly losing consciousness and I could see Caleb rushing towards me in panic. I heard whistles blowing, people shouting and Caleb calling out my name.

When I woke up, I found myself in a hospital. I saw Abigail and Emma beside the bed I was on. They stirred when I moved. “Amelia? Oh my god. Thank goodness you’re alright. The doctor said that you fainted from the shock of the metal pipe hitting you.” Emma was hugging me tightly. May was there and I realized that I might have been out for a long time. “How long has it been since then?” “Well, you only fainted yesterday and its late evening. So a couple of hours I guess.” “… Is that so… So that must mean that you came here using a jet or something?” May looked at me and nodded. “I was worried so I flew over when I heard of what had happened. Don’t worry. Your parents don’t know about it. Yet.” “I see. That’s good.” “The doctor said that you can leave as soon as you woke up. Your flight will be at eight am tomorrow. I have already packed your things from the hotel and it is already ready in the jet.” “I see. Good job May.”

The next day, I was at the airport and was ready to leave for the US. My friends were there again. “It almost feels like ten years ago when I first left for the US.” Abigail tried to laugh but ended up crying instead. “… You had better come back and visit us understand! I don’t want to have to see you every ten years you know!” “Haha. I understand. I will try to come back and visit you all as often as possible.” Ethan grabbed my shoulder and said, “I know this isn’t much but try to be happy alright. I’ll make sure to torture that stupid Caleb for being so stupid.” “Haha… You don’t have to do that Ethan.” As I said my goodbyes to them and receive the loving hugs, I looked at them again and also at Caleb. “I’ll be back and we’ll see each other again soon.” Just as I was about to go through the immigration counter, Caleb called out to me and said, “I had fun! Come back again soon. Ok?” I turned around and hugged Caleb. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I said, “I had fun too.” “Hey now, don’t cry. You’re a big girl ok.” As I released him from my hug I said the words I had said before but now with all my emotions and not like but love, “I love you, Caleb. Goodbye.” I turned and walked away. Caleb was standing there frozen, shocked at what I had said.

The plane ride to the US was long and we arrived safely to the US airport. The two days was hectic as I tried to persuade my parents that I was not going to get married. However, they would not listen and I finally gave up and went to meet up with the person with the intention of rejecting the idea of marriage. I found out that his name was Michael. However, when I met up with him, I realized that he too did not want to go along with the marriage but was forced. We talked for a while and came to realize that both of us have unrequited love. He came up with the idea to have a pretend marriage and we invite the person we love over. We see how they will react. If one or both have a reaction than we know that our love is actually accepted by them if not we would get married and make our family happy. I thought about it for a while and realized that it was beneficial to the both of us, so I accepted.

Our parents were ecstatic and the invitations were sent out. I sent the invites to my friends in New York. I got a long winded lecture from Abigail and congratulations from the rest. I sent them plane tickets so as to make sure that they would definitely come for the wedding. The wedding was going to be held a month from now. Caleb had rejected and sent back the plane tickets. He said that he would be busy as there was going to be an important seminar during that time. I told Michael that mine was a lost cause and that he was not coming. I wished him luck with his one instead. He asked me whether I wanted to cancel the wedding. “No. It was already agreed that one or both or marriage. Remember? Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’m used to rejection.” “… The one I love is my secretary… Amelia, she doesn’t seem to care at all. Instead she always seems fine and talks about the marriage as though it is not her concern at all. What should I do?” I looked at him and told him that only time will tell and that everything will be decided on the wedding day.

I scheduled the flight for my friends to arrive a day earlier from the wedding and had them stay at my family’s house. During the time when the arrangement for the marriage had begun, I had started staying at my family’s house.

“Amelia. I still think you shouldn’t have gone on with the marriage. What happened to your resolve of not marrying someone you don’t even know?” Abigail looked at me confused. I sighed and said, “I have my reasons. Now forget about it and get ready. I still need to prepare for the wedding tomorrow and you need to be good and find out where you are sitting. I have special seats just for my friends.” “Caleb isn’t coming is he?” “No. He said he had an important seminar which he mustn’t miss.” “I see. Well, I wish you luck with this marriage of yours.” “… It sounds like you think I would need it.” “… You do need it Amelia. A marriage without love never lasts long.” After saying those words she left.

It’s the day of the wedding. Abigail has not talked to me since then and Michael was getting depressed although he was not showing it. I looked around for the secretary and found her in a room sobbing for all her worth. As I opened the door, she jumped up in fright and turned around. When she saw me, she was shocked and she tried to escape. I blocked her way and asked her but a simple question, “Are you in love with Michael?” She trembled and said, “Of… Of course not… I… How can I, a simple and plain secretary be in love with him? It is impossible” “It is not. If you love him, you should tell him. If you don’t, you would regret it for the rest of your life. You would only feel pain and hurt whenever you see him and you wouldn’t be happy. Thinking about him would bring only longing and hurt. Do you want to have those emotions in your heart forever?” “… Why? Why are you telling me this? You are about to marry him. Why are you trying to help me? I would only be a hindrance to your marriage…” I was about to leave the room when she asked me that question. “That is because I made the mistake of not telling the one I love and now because of that… Let us not talk about that. Just… What does your heart tell you? Listen to it.” I closed the door and left.

The marriage ceremony began and the priest began his talk and about the vows. Just as he was asking whether there is anyone who believes that we should not be married, Abigail stood up and said that she has a reason as to why we should not be married. Everyone in the church went silent. “How can they be married when they don’t even love each other? Tell me! Amelia! Is this what you want? A marriage without love?” My father stood up and called for someone to take Abigail away from the place. Just as she was being pulled out, Caleb entered the church. He was sweating and panting like crazy. I noticed that he was wearing the doctor’s coat. “… I came here as soon as I could…” “Caleb, what took you so long? I had to hold off the ceremony and I was nearly kicked out.” “Sorry Abigail. The hall from my seminar to hear was really far and there was a jam so I ran here.” “Still, it’s a good thing you got here on time. Now hurry up! Amelia is waiting for you up there.”

As Caleb stood up straight, he looked at me and walked up. “Amelia. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you all this time. I never realized what you felt for me and never realized how I felt about you. I love you Amelia Ann Vivienne. I don’t want to make the same mistake like last time. So will you not get married to him? Will you marry me instead?” “… Yes… I love you! I love you Caleb.” Tears flowed down from my eyes as I heard those words from him. As Caleb hugged me, the secretary of Michaels came up to him and said, “After how she had talked to me, she made me realize that I shouldn’t run away and that I should face my feelings. Now that I see how she has achieved what she wants. I want to say it to you. The feelings that I haven’t been able to express… Michael, I love you…” Michael looked at her and smiled. “And I love you too. Looks like the weddings a failure huh?”

Everyone in the church was silent from shock as the event was too much for them. Michael’s parents stood up and walked to him and asked him, “Is this what you really want, Michael?” “It is…” Michael’s parents looked at my parents and said, “Looks like the marriage is off. Why not we go and celebrate for our children’s love?” My parents were silent and my father said, “Aww… Come out of it William. It was your idea to do this. I know deep down inside you are laughing as you won the bet!” Michael and I were surprised. I asked my dad, “Dad, what bet are you talking about?” “Oh. It’s nothing much. William was sure that his son wouldn’t end up marrying as he was definitely going to marry her. But I was sure that your charms would have swept him off his feet. Who knew that you would end up in the same predicament as his son.” I was speechless and so was everyone else. However, Michael broke the silence by laughing. He couldn’t believe that we were dragged into this due to our father’s so called bet.

After all that, everyone left and my friends left to leave us alone. Michael went to another room to talk with his ‘secretary’. I looked at Caleb. “So… The seminar was here in the US huh? What made you come in the end? I thought you wrote that you weren’t coming?” “… Abigail slapped some sense into me. She knew that the seminar was in the US so she came to my hotel and lectured me.” I laughed. “So Abigail style.” “Were you serious?” “Hmm?” “About marrying me?” “… Yeah. Of course I was. Why would I even joke about that?” As I asked, his face inched closer to mine and slowly we kissed. A year later, we married in the same church where everything happened. The kiss this time is a kiss that seals our marriage.